Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
