I murdered the dance floor call the cops
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
