Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
