My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
