she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
