Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
