kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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