when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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