just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
