Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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