question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize