He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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