everyone is single if you try hard enough
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
