Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
No I am not eating basil off your cock
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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