Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
