He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize