nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
