Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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