Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
