WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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