i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
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