At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
