North Korea, Best Korea!
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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