The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
