She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
