I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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