She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
vagina is talking i cant
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
