get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
