its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
