Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
