oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
