How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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