i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
