I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
She announced her abortion via fbk
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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