so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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