Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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