Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
