I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize