fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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