So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
50% drunk capacity currently
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
