so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
