I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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