I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You were trust falling into bushes
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
