We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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