My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
