I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
