id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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