you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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