this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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