I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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