Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize