its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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