Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
