I hate your face
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize