yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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