Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
