Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
