Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
