haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
