the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize
