she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize