I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
