is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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